It's a bit like being pregnant....

I remember when I first found out that I was pregnant with Finn the absolute fear that one day some 8 1/2 months later a substantial mass would have to exit my body in a completely uncontrolled and painful fashion.  It took a while to accept and embrace this fact.  I found that as time went on I was bombarded with facts, figures and information about the multitude of choices I had available to me for when 'Delivery day' arrived.  My feeling is that the more informed you are the fewer things there are to be afraid of.  Without even realising, as the pregnancy progressed my thought process and emotions changed and evolved into almost beginning to relish the impending immovable deadline.  The months turned to weeks and in the last 6-8 weeks I felt at peace with what was to happen and faced it head on.  The feeling is quite liberating - to face a new challenge having journeyed through so many emotions for something you really want and have dreamed for. 

I have found the emigration journey somewhat similar.  It only occurred to me today that the path I am on at the moment is a little similar in how it is making me feel.  When we first discussed moving to Australia I was filled with fear, questions, feelings of being uninformed and that feeling of butterflies that you just can't shift.  The sort of butterflies that make your tummy lurch and not in a nice 'falling in love' way.  This decision was made over 2 years ago and even though it was a real long term plan it still made me feel that way.  We then started our master plan of putting us all in the best position possible to make a real success of our move - to give us the best chance that we could.  We talked about our move as we ticked off our goals and I found out more and more information about finding houses, education, health care, lifestyle....the list goes on.  A visit to Brisbane in April 2008 really drove us on and inspired us.

Time passed and then in October this year we felt ready to put the house on the market, that was another big hurdle.  I can liken this to the feeling in the NCT class at around 28 weeks of pregnancy when you 'have that talk' about the conventional exit of a small person out of your body in 12 weeks time!  It's like being on the top of a roller coaster (I have only ever done the Corkscrew at Alton Towers - chicken that I am), you are committed and it's pretty scary but really exciting and lovely to embrace the feeling.

Now I feel I am in the accepting stage and I am just letting the whole thing wash over me, which is a nice place to be.  I'm very much focusing on the immediate future now as we step through the numerous stages that are essential and obligatory on our journey.  I'm now finding that I am calm as we move on from one task to another and it's like I have adopted a 'bring it on' kind of attitude that I felt when I got to around 34 weeks pregnancy.  It's coming, it's going to happen, it's all good and it's going to change our life.

I think this is one of the benefits to taking our time, moving out and living with Mum for 6 months.  I feel that I am giving us all time to come to terms with the decisions that we are making and accept them.  I'm very much looking forward to the summer months.  I have plans to go to:

1. The Bath & West Show
2. London
3. Badminton Horse Trials
4. Yeovilton Air Day
5. Run to the Sun in Newquay
6. Edinburgh Tattoo

To name just a few!

I did think today it's such a shame we can't do more of the above sorts of things all year round.  I feel that we hibernate in our house from October to April and I live for the summer months to go to days like above.  It's also not helped that the last 3 summers have been rubbish and we have had children for all of them and have suffered because of the unpredictable weather.

So to summarise.  I'm in a good place at the moment as I feel like I'm taking things head on and embracing the experience.  Of course Finn came out of the sun roof with an emergency c-section so all that initial worry was pointless!