Tigress

When I drive into work on a Tuesday and Wednesday morning I listen to Radio 1.  I used to dislike Chris Moyles intensely as I found him an offensive repugnant man of little worth.  However, now I find him and his breakfast team quite amusing. I digress.

This morning I caught the news at 06:30 before Chris started and they were covering the story of the killers of Jamie Bulger, one of which has just been sent back to prison on license infringements.   I remember being shocked at the time of the turn of events in 1993.  I was in secondary education at the time and I remember doing some sort of course work the following year on what had happened and I remember being interested and appalled and what had lead two 10 year olds to such drastic action and acts of violence.

Fifteen years on and I am now a mother with a son of 2 years old.  The same age that Jamie was abducted and murdered.

I listened to the news coverage of the story this morning for the 1st time since the story broke and I felt a swell of rage, fury and protectiveness unfurl in the pit of my tummy and make it's way through my chest up to my throat.  I cannot even begin to imagine what Jamie's poor mother must of felt at the time and now, but I can honestly say that if faced with those terrible horrendous circumstances I don't think I could be responsible for my actions.  The feeling this morning I can only liken to a tigress and her cubs and I found the emotion so strong that it caught me by surprise a little.  

Becoming a mother has completely changed me as a person and I have such a maternal urge when it comes to Finn & Isla that when I am reminded of it like today I am momentarily floored.

I knew already that I had this in me as whenever I have reflected on the disappearance of Madeline Mccann I have felt the same surge of feelings and choking in the throat.

However, today I was once again reminded of the power of being a mother.